Note: this work is by Caitlin M. Clancy and is the first part of a serial post. The fictional persons of the Moralist - who may appear in later posts - and the Public Proponent, though certainly her creations, do not necessarily
represent her views or opinions despite their proximity to her cranial
faculties. (Though the discerning reader may quickly tell whose ideas, of the
two, are closer if not occasionally identical to her own. That said, let us
begin.)
“The
Inherent Danger of Rationality in Society, Or:
Why
Men Who Think are Bad for Us
And
Why We Ought to Quash Their Kind
And be
Content With Mediocrity”
Cultural Commentary offered
by His Smugness The Public Proponent
Ah, the average!
Have you ever heard such a beautiful word? It encompasses the universe of meanings enclosed in the
terms “the usual,” “the normal,” or “the typical;” it is, in a word, the
mediocre. And is this not the very
Golden Mean itself? But we have
seen, in recent days, a dangerous resurgence of a sort of human being who
threatens the existence of this mean and the very foundations, the broad but
shallow hyphae, of our precious society.
I mean, of course, the Man who Thinks.
You
may have had the misfortune in school to learn that man is a rational
animal. This assertion, though
absurd, is in one sense right: man is indeed born with rational faculties much
as he is with arms or hair or organs.
The difference, though, and where most teachers fall through the cracks,
comes in determining what kind of
faculties our rationality is. Most
suppose it to be like the arms – useful, necessary, healthful things to
have. What they do not suppose,
and what stands much closer to the truth, is that rational faculties most
nearly resemble the human appendix.
Such faculties are, therefore, unavoidably present in natural man, but though
they may cause no harm if steadfastly ignored, heaven forbid they should be
used. Use, you see, leads to a terrible
inflammation – to that mental appendicitis called thinking. And if you think those two conditions
very unlike, take a closer look at their similarities: both cause pain, both
impair normal functions, and both can become so persistent as to move one to
visit a doctor (or, as the case may be, to seek Knowledge). But I have rambled enough now to give
you a right idea of rationality’s true substance, and must turn instead to my
chief subject: those individuals who presently threaten our peace and security.
These men, these Thinkers, these
Philosophers – call ‘em what you will – are dangerous precisely because they
retain this natural rational state and aggravate it to alarming levels. (And
what man of sense does not know that Nature is defective, not to mention
old-fashioned? It is by no means
to be heeded.) They deliberately and consciously seek out means of furthering
their Understanding; they inquire into matters of importance to obtain Truth,
regardless of the fact that they know (they know!)
that what they find may not be to their liking. Not only do they persist in these low and deplorable
activities, they also seek to educate other men to do the same[1],
and in this characteristic lies their greatest danger to us. By Education they disturb society from
the inside out. They put questions
into your head – some very simple, like why
is that ‘right’? – and disturb the peaceful certainty you had before. In fact, what questions they ask are almost (almost mind you) immaterial.
The act of questioning is bad enough to excite the beginnings of
cogitation (or should I say contagion?).
But questions alone do not comprise their sole ammunition. They also stir up our tranquil mental
waters by feeding us pretty lines like “seek and ye shall find,” by asserting
that “all men by nature desire to know,” and by convincing us that “our hearts
are restless till they rest” in a being they call God. Their presumption is truly
intolerable!
[1] Let
the reader note: learning is one thing, Education quite another. The former should be permitted – nay,
encouraged – to distract men and keep them from the latter, but care must be
taken that the reverse does not become the case (see my recent article on
“Schooling Sense out of the Masses”).
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